One of "those" mornings!

So it's been one of "those" mornings!  Kids coughing like they have something crossed between emphysema and tuberculosis, chronic running noses (you know, the kind that just make the bottom of your nose raw and painful), tired from last nights Back to School night (I mean, who schedules this stuff to go to 8:30pm on a Monday night - it's like Teacher payback), and they are both just as irritated as I am.  Makings of a fabulous morning.  Super.

Now if I'm honest, its not all that drama that's stressing me out.  It's knowing that I have a client scheduled today that won't end in time for me to pick up the kids from school.  I know there are Mom's out there who will roll their eyes at my fear that some terrible fate will befall the kids if they dare walk 3/4 mile home from school by themselves...but I do.

And if I'm even more honest, I'd have to admit that I'm also frustrated that as a single-mom, I'm often forced to choose between work and food on the table or being available for the kids.

To make matters worse, I finally got my middle school daughter out of the door (and anyone with a middle school student REGARDLESS of gender knows that can be a feat in itself) and to the bus stop.  As we're walking another student is racing back to her house.  I ask her if whatever it is is THAT important and she tells me her mom would "kill" her if she forgot her cell phone.  Now I pause here to key in on one important phrase, "her mom would 'kill' her if she forgot her cell phone."  Somewhere in the far reaches of my daughters brain something should have resonated.  Nope.  We get to the bus stop with a minute or so to spare.  I start running through the checklist, "Do you have..."  Last question - "Do you have your cell phone?"  I see the look, she knows I'll be pissed, she's even contemplating lying to me...she forgot her cell phone.  I explode, "H-O-W am I supposed to make sure you get your brother from school if you don't have your cell phone?"  She cringes.  She misses the bus.  We get her cell phone and I use the car ride to middle school to again remind her how ticked I am COMPLETE with language not suitable for adults much less an 11 yr old.  She rides in silence.  I drop her off at school straining to say, "I love you" as she gets out.

Now if I'm super honest, I have to admit...most of the time I just feel like I'm making ONE BIG HOT MESS of things.  As I drive around the corner, I watch her walking into school and realize I've blown it, yet again.  I text her, "I'm sorry, I love you!"   She doesn't respond.  It's not even 8am, I'm tracking for a spectacular day. Damn.

As I drive back home I vow to settle down and salvage what I can of my son's morning before I walk him to school.  I get him off to school, rush home, gather my work stuff, jump in the car and head off to the client's house.  On the way she texts me she thinks she has strep and she's on the way to the doctor but has left the door unlocked so I can come on in and get started.

Wait, what?!?  You can't make these kinds of mornings up!

You think you have STREP?  Um, yeah...better get that checked out before I come over.  Given the morning I've created it would be my luck to end up with strep with no health insurance.  Pass.

So here I find myself...it's not even 10am and I've yelled at my kids, rushed the morning, pushed them to go to school while doubting there were actually well enough to do so all for the sake of what?  A client?  As I drive home I am overwhelmed at the damage I can create in a few short hours but still thankful that my kids know that I love them.  I'm human.  They get this single-mom crap is hard.  Hugs and apologies will greet both of them when they get out of school.  Tomorrow is another day.